You ask yourself, do you even want to take the next step? What you?re really wondering is if she is the right woman or is this really the right time. If any of things ring true for you then you need to read on. Why are we afraid to commit?
Have you ever faced this problem? What are your thoughts after reading this article, did it help to alleviate your fear of commitment? Please leave your comments or questions in the box below. I read each one and answer them personally as quickly as I can.
Why are men afraid of commitment?
The main reason is because love can hurt. Someone is bound to get hurt. Love relationships can often lead to broken hearts. Because of this potential pain we often take our time with deciding whether we want to enter into a relationship or not. There is also the perception that if we enter into the wrong relationship it will stop us from being able to meet the woman of our dreams later on down the line.
The problem with this type of thinking is that it involves the wrong mindset. If you are thinking like this, then you need to completely re-frame the way your brain interprets relationships.So, what are some of the mindsets that we need to have when considering a long-term relationship?
A relationship doesn?t have to be forever.
Just because you are in a relationship now doesn?t mean that you need to be in it forever. The best approach to take into? a successful relationships is ?I like you today; I want to see you tomorrow?.
When you promote this mindset through everything you do, you take a lot of pressure off yourself to make things work. Ultimately, if it gets to a point where you?re finding excuses not to see your significant other, then you know it?s a good time to reconsider the relationship. Both parties should feel completely free to move on if things aren?t working out.
With my current relationship, both myself and my girlfriend remind each other what will be will be. There is no pressure on either of us to stay in the relationship if we feel like it?s not mutually beneficial. Ultimately, this actually makes our relationship stronger.
Just because she is not the right one to settle down with doesn?t mean she is not the right woman for you now.
I struggled through my relationship with my first girlfriend for a number of years. I ended up marrying her which ultimately was a mistake. She was the first woman that showed any interest in me and that in itself meant a lot to me at the time.
Deep down I knew that she wasn?t really the right woman for me in regards to a long term commitment, but she was good for that period of my life. The relationship helped me develop a self-confidence that I had not experienced before. I was also able to conquer many of my sexual insecurities by being with her.
I realized even though I lacked relationship experience, I was quite good in bed. Just because she is your girlfriend now doesn?t mean that she has to be the woman that you want to settle down with forever. If she is right for this particular time of your life, then that?s perfectly okay. Every relationship serves its purpose and this re-frame allows you to get the benefits out of the relationships you are having.
Relationships are all about learning.
When you enter a relationship you want to have an open mind as to what you can learn about yourself and also the world around you. Relationships are gold mines for learning and for shifting your perspective of the world. They are generally full of ups and downs and emotional highs and lows, but in reality, so is life. Relationships are great opportunities to question what it really is that you want from life.
Often your girlfriend will mirror components of your personality that have you have previously been unaware of. You just need to have an open mind and a fresh outlook. Even if your relationship isn?t the perfect one, it?s can still be beneficial to your life because it makes you aware of new things about yourself that you can use to transform yourself into a better person.
If you are still experiencing the fear of commitment, then it can be helpful to create a list of positives and negatives.
Take a a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write all the positive things that will come if you take that jump of commitment with the woman you are currently dating. On the other side write a list of all the negative side effects of going full-force into the relationship.
The first time I did this I uncovered a number of hidden factors that I hadn?t considered and ultimately, it allowed me to make the decision that I was ready to make a commitment to this particular woman. It also allows you the opportunity to be honest with yourself.
On other occasions it allowed me to gain the clarity that I am not actually looking to enter into a relationship right now regardless of how great the woman is. This exercise is really powerful in helping you identify what your true motivators are. It allows you to gain clarity and confidence in the decision you are contemplating on whether to commit to your girlfriend or not.
After reading this article and listing the pros and cons of whether to commit to a relationship or not, and you still have reservations and are afraid to commit, then now is the time to decide whether to keep things like they are or simply end things and move on.
Source: http://vindicarlo.com/afraid-of-commitment
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